Just came home from Dr Howard's office. Staples removed with minimal pain. Had one that hurt but the rest came out fine. He usually waits 10 days before removing them but with holiday weekend we went ahead. Scar looks good. Straight Line per my request.
Put steri-strips across the incision line. Then wrapped again. Sure did feel good to get the tight bandage off. This one is not as tight. In a sports bra for now. See Dr Howard again next Friday.
We see Dr Nakka my medical oncologist this coming Tuesday at 10:30 for the game plan. Please continue to pray for our decisions to be made.
Dr Howard suggested we do something for the weekend to get our minds off everything. May go to the island aka paradise. Not sure...
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Lakeland Regional Cancer Center
Dr Nakka's appointment has been set. Tuesday, Sept 4th at 10:30. Getting our game plan. Wanted me there tomorrow BUT at the same time as my appointment to get these staples out....can't miss that appointment.
Today I seem to just be sleeping the day away. Tired - guess it's catching up with me again.
more later...
Today I seem to just be sleeping the day away. Tired - guess it's catching up with me again.
more later...
Thursday, Aug. 30, 2012
Spent my first day at home alone and didn't spend the day crying and feeling sorry for myself. Yeah Me!
Loving Randy stayed in touch even came home to fix my lunch. He is awesome! Chuck stayed in touch via IM's all day and came by on way home from work. My guys are so supportive. Chuck is worried about both of us I can tell.
Ran took me for a walk last night - that was wonderful to get out in the fresh air. We just strolled and enjoyed the night together.
Trying to keep positive attitude today again...keep praying my dear friends. I can feel them.
God is Good
God is Great
and God is IN CONTROL
Loving Randy stayed in touch even came home to fix my lunch. He is awesome! Chuck stayed in touch via IM's all day and came by on way home from work. My guys are so supportive. Chuck is worried about both of us I can tell.
Ran took me for a walk last night - that was wonderful to get out in the fresh air. We just strolled and enjoyed the night together.
Trying to keep positive attitude today again...keep praying my dear friends. I can feel them.
God is Good
God is Great
and God is IN CONTROL
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Wed, August 29, 2012 FOUND
Went to the doctor yesterday to get bandage off and look for the first time.
I was so scared for the tape to be pulled off. Band aides blister my skin, and at times pull my skin off. So I was very afraid. The area under my arms is so sore already. Well Susie (nurse) was wonderful. She was so gentle. Dr Howard took out the drain tubes (not too bad). Guess I had not even thought of pulling them out. They did feel painful under my arms when he pulled them out of my chest.
I think the worst pain was when Dr Howard said the pathology report does show micrometastees (spelling??). Then the words treatment and chemo. All my records and reports are being sent to Dr. Nakka at the Lakeland Regional Cancer Center. They will be calling to set up my initial visit.
Randy and I were stunned to say the least. He is my rock. I am so blessed with the most wonderful caring husband in my life.
So we begin the second battle.
Losing some of the water/puffy ankles. Yeah!!
Been reading a little about micrometastases - too confusing for us. We'll just wait to talk with Dr Nakka about the next steps to take.
I was so scared for the tape to be pulled off. Band aides blister my skin, and at times pull my skin off. So I was very afraid. The area under my arms is so sore already. Well Susie (nurse) was wonderful. She was so gentle. Dr Howard took out the drain tubes (not too bad). Guess I had not even thought of pulling them out. They did feel painful under my arms when he pulled them out of my chest.
I think the worst pain was when Dr Howard said the pathology report does show micrometastees (spelling??). Then the words treatment and chemo. All my records and reports are being sent to Dr. Nakka at the Lakeland Regional Cancer Center. They will be calling to set up my initial visit.
Randy and I were stunned to say the least. He is my rock. I am so blessed with the most wonderful caring husband in my life.
So we begin the second battle.
Losing some of the water/puffy ankles. Yeah!!
Been reading a little about micrometastases - too confusing for us. We'll just wait to talk with Dr Nakka about the next steps to take.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Sunday, Aug. 26, 2012
First morning home - work up in pain and tears. Could hardly brush my teeth for crying. Call me wimp - I don't care it hurts.
I have problems with glue -bandaids are bad to me. The bandages are pulling my skin bad. All I can think about is when the doctor takes off my bandages. THIS IS GOING TO BE BAD!!! And I feel bad because that should be the last thing I have to worry about.
I will get through this I know.
I have problems with glue -bandaids are bad to me. The bandages are pulling my skin bad. All I can think about is when the doctor takes off my bandages. THIS IS GOING TO BE BAD!!! And I feel bad because that should be the last thing I have to worry about.
I will get through this I know.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Saturday, Aug. 25,2012
Finally home from the hospital. Had to stay an extra day due to my bp staying too low. Bummer. Had a bad time last night. Just tired of the hospital. Randy found me in tears this morning. All I will say is some people are born to be nurses and some people aren't.
Thank you all for keeping in touch with us. We love you all.
Thank you all for keeping in touch with us. We love you all.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Bp improving
Finally got over 100. It was 103 over 54. Took IV line off finally. Hope to get to go home tomorrow.
Thank you all for your prayers and support for me and my family.
Pain is not too bad except drain tubes are bad at times. Going to the Doctor on Tuesday to get the tubes out and bandage removed. Staples out ouch!!! Help me get through that please.
Thank you all for your prayers and support for me and my family.
Pain is not too bad except drain tubes are bad at times. Going to the Doctor on Tuesday to get the tubes out and bandage removed. Staples out ouch!!! Help me get through that please.
Friday August 24
BP too low all night and this morning. Can't go home today Dr Howard said no today.
Randy and Chuck making me walk the halls to get some soreness out. Cause I met Mr Pain last night and he is Not nice.
Randy and Chuck making me walk the halls to get some soreness out. Cause I met Mr Pain last night and he is Not nice.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Sleeping now
Marsha in her room. 827 b2. All good no cancer spread. She's sleeping. Thanks for all the prayers. Randy
Day 10, Aug. 23,2012
Surgery Day. Scared to death but...
"The Light of God surrounds me.
The Love of God enfolds me.
The Power of God protects me.
The Presence of God watches over me.
Wherever I am, God Is."
This is a quote from Robin Roberts of Good Morning America. She shared this in her mom's book just recently published. She shared this as her daily start as she struggles with her cancer.
I am continuing to trust these words for my life - I hope you my friends who read this will do the same for your daily struggles.
God has a plan for me and I trust Him.
Love to you - M
"The Light of God surrounds me.
The Love of God enfolds me.
The Power of God protects me.
The Presence of God watches over me.
Wherever I am, God Is."
This is a quote from Robin Roberts of Good Morning America. She shared this in her mom's book just recently published. She shared this as her daily start as she struggles with her cancer.
I am continuing to trust these words for my life - I hope you my friends who read this will do the same for your daily struggles.
God has a plan for me and I trust Him.
Love to you - M
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Aug. 22 continues
Just received call from hospital. Need to arrive at hospital at 8:00 am not the original time of 10:00 am.
Can this really be happening? No wine with dinner tonight. Bummer. I was looking forward to relaxing with blackberry sangria at dinner tonight. I just know it would help.
Can this really be happening? No wine with dinner tonight. Bummer. I was looking forward to relaxing with blackberry sangria at dinner tonight. I just know it would help.
Day 9, Aug. 22, 2012
Slept a little last night. Not sure what kept me awake. Just the unknown I guess. And PAIN is coming.
I looked at some pictures of a woman who had bilateral mastectomy. I wanted to be somewhat prepared at seeing the "site" before I see mine. Didn't want to FREAK OUT. I will say this has made me reconsider reconstruction for myself. So I told Randy I know what I want for my Christmas present. I know more surgery and more PAIN but this is what I want.
I know I can get this done now but I want to be sure of killing the cancer first. Get through my treatments and get stronger.
Only one day left and then my whole world will change forever.
I looked at some pictures of a woman who had bilateral mastectomy. I wanted to be somewhat prepared at seeing the "site" before I see mine. Didn't want to FREAK OUT. I will say this has made me reconsider reconstruction for myself. So I told Randy I know what I want for my Christmas present. I know more surgery and more PAIN but this is what I want.
I know I can get this done now but I want to be sure of killing the cancer first. Get through my treatments and get stronger.
Only one day left and then my whole world will change forever.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Day 8, Aug. 21, 2012
WOW - Had a good night sleep. Thank You - I know you are all praying for me - I can feel them.
Randy and I watched "The Hunger Games" last night. Not my kind of movie but I figured hey - need to get my mind on something else so I agreed. I went to bed at 11:30 not sure when he came to bed. BUT I work up for the first time at 6:00 this morning. I didn't dream about the movie or anything. I SLEPT ALL NIGHT! I :-) loved this! Thank you for praying for me - Love to you all from M and R.
Randy and I watched "The Hunger Games" last night. Not my kind of movie but I figured hey - need to get my mind on something else so I agreed. I went to bed at 11:30 not sure when he came to bed. BUT I work up for the first time at 6:00 this morning. I didn't dream about the movie or anything. I SLEPT ALL NIGHT! I :-) loved this! Thank you for praying for me - Love to you all from M and R.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Labs and injection
Have to arrive by 10:00 for lab work and injection for the sentinel lymph node biopsy. Not looking forward to this. Radioactive dye into the nipple. OUCH!!!
Aug 20,2012 continued
Surgery date is this Thursday, 23rd at noon. I have to go earlier for an injection in radiology. Needed for lymph node biopsy.
And so we begin.
And so we begin.
Day 7, Aug. 20, 2012
What a long night AGAIN. It is so hard to stop your mind from thinking about what's next. Am I making the right decisions? How bad will the pain be? How big will the scar be? Has it spread? What's next if it has spread?
Found myself singing = "Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr purr purr". IT HELPED me relax and fall asleep.
And let the day begin.
Found myself singing = "Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr purr purr". IT HELPED me relax and fall asleep.
And let the day begin.
Day 6 Sunday, Aug. 19, 2012
Sunday - "MY" Day. I choose not to be controlled by breast cancer today. I am trying not to constantly think about what is to come.
Randy is helping = we are going bowling for a couple of hours. Then taking a long walk with Ozzie. Dinner with Susie, Evan and Nikki. Did NOT even think about counting points on my diet. We had "breakfast" for dinner. IT WAS AWESOME!!!
Randy is helping = we are going bowling for a couple of hours. Then taking a long walk with Ozzie. Dinner with Susie, Evan and Nikki. Did NOT even think about counting points on my diet. We had "breakfast" for dinner. IT WAS AWESOME!!!
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Day 5, Aug. 18, 2012
Football Today - Isaiah's game is at 12:00 and they are calling for rain. I'll be seeing him for the first time since Chuck told him about my cancer. I am a little anxious about this first visit. But I know Isaiah will be my BEST prayer warrior.
Up since 2:30 - listened to Christmas music on my IPOD trying not to wake Randy. Ozzie is with me in the living room. He seems to sense something is up with mommy.
Up since 2:30 - listened to Christmas music on my IPOD trying not to wake Randy. Ozzie is with me in the living room. He seems to sense something is up with mommy.
Day 4 Aug. 17, 2012
Did my pre-surgery haircut this morning. Wow it's really short but at least it's still there. . .for now. Randy said "it don't look bad". Ozzie even got his short grooming today.
Waiting for phone call today for my surgery next week.
Ugh - Dr Howard has been in surgery all day - will be Monday before I know now.
UGH!!!
Waiting for phone call today for my surgery next week.
Ugh - Dr Howard has been in surgery all day - will be Monday before I know now.
UGH!!!
Day 3, August 16
I have made the decision to have Dr Fred Howard as my surgeon. I have requested him to work along side Dr Nakka of the Lakeland Regional Cancer Center for my Medical Oncologist.
I am planning to have bilateral mastectomy done. I will have to stay over night in the hospital. At the time of the surgery he will be looking at lymph nodes for the cancer spreading to other areas of my body. I pray this has not happened.
Suzie (Dr H's nurse) shared it would be much easier to have both done at the same time. She works closely with LCC staff/physicians. Shared I will love them.
I feel a peace after making the decision to have Dr Howard and LRCC be my team for the battle ahead. Many have asked why not Moffitt? Randy and I would like to be closer to home for my future treatments.
I am planning to have bilateral mastectomy done. I will have to stay over night in the hospital. At the time of the surgery he will be looking at lymph nodes for the cancer spreading to other areas of my body. I pray this has not happened.
Suzie (Dr H's nurse) shared it would be much easier to have both done at the same time. She works closely with LCC staff/physicians. Shared I will love them.
I feel a peace after making the decision to have Dr Howard and LRCC be my team for the battle ahead. Many have asked why not Moffitt? Randy and I would like to be closer to home for my future treatments.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Decisions Day 2 August 15, 2012
Wow - so many questions and so many thoughts. Some I voiced and some I keep to myself for now. I did contact others who have already walked this path. Many have shared good things and BAD things. Scary things. Dr Howard (my surgeon) has warned me about scary stuff being out there.
My good friend Mary has said to remember "everyone's case is different". Not to think just because someone else had a horrible experience doesn't mean I will have the same experience.
My good friend Mary has said to remember "everyone's case is different". Not to think just because someone else had a horrible experience doesn't mean I will have the same experience.
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